Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

There are 10 questions that readers most frequently asked the authors in the years following the book’s initial publication. These were about the book’s style, method, content, and the authors’ suggestions about how to make difficult conversations as fruitful as possible.

First: “It sounds like you’re saying everything is relative. Aren’t some things just true, and can’t someone simply be wrong?” (238). The truth of the matter is that the truth is slippery, it can be hard to determine, and while objective truth does exist, it takes a conversation to determine what that is and how it affects the people involved in the discussion.

Second: “What if the other person really does have bad intentions—lying, bullying, or intentionally derailing the conversation to get what they want?” (244). The best thing to do is assume good intentions and good faith; however, it takes a conversation to really determine if that is the case. If the conversation is continually derailed no matter how hard you work, however, then eventually the conversation will need to be dropped for the sake of both parties.

Third: “What if the other person is genuinely difficult, perhaps even mentally ill?” (249). Some people are genuinely difficult to deal with, and some people are that way because they can’t help it due to some kind of health issue.