Gender Queer: A Memoir

Gendered social cues heavily influence Kobabe’s early life. Before school, Kobabe is isolated and spends time with her family and the only neighboring family. E spends more time catching snakes than thinking about eir gender. On the first day e attends first grade, e isn’t allowed to play with the boys because “girls have cooties” (22). As a teen, Kobabe doesn’t understand the pressure to shave eir legs just because “girls [are] supposed to” (45) and feels ashamed in front of the girls in eir class. Eir period is also a confusing and embarrassing experience for em that e cannot celebrate. There is a stark contrast in how Kobabe experiences eir body and eir gender before attending school and after. Attending school means experiencing the pressure of gender norms like girls and boys being separated at recess. At home, Kobabe’s parents do not enforce gender norms and e spends most of eir time outside in nature.

The first section of the memoir primarily focuses on this theme. Kobabe uses artistic choices and styling to highlight this contrast between eir life before school and while in school. Eir life before school is depicted as natural and carefree, free of gendered expectations and confusing social cues.