If I Survive You

“It begins with: What are you? Hollered from the perimeter of your front yard when you’re nine—younger, probably. You’ll be asked again throughout junior high and high school, then out in the world, in strip clubs, in food courts, over the phone, and at various menial jobs. The askers are expectant. They demand immediate gratification. Their question lifts you slightly off your preadolescent toes, tilting you, not just because you don’t understand it, but because even if you did understand this question, you wouldn’t yet have an answer.”

This passage speaks to the theme of Immigration and Cultural Identity as well as the theme of Intersectionality, Socioeconomic Status, and Race. Trelawny does not appear to fit neatly into any category of race, ethnicity, or national origin, and part of his search for identity happens because he is so often questioned as to what his identifications are.

“In this moment, for the first time, you are ashamed of your mother, and you are ashamed of yourself for not defending her. More than to be cowardly and disloyal though it’s shameful to be foreign.”

This passage speaks to how immigration interacts with and shapes cultural identity. Trelawny’s mother speaks English with a Jamaican accent. As a result, both white and African Americans view the family as “other.” Part of Trelawny’s adolescence is spent coming to terms with his cultural identity and figuring out how to define himself on his own terms.

“You’re Black, Trelawny. In Jamaica we weren’t, but here we are. There’s a one-drop rule.”

This passage speaks to the novel’s interest in how race, culture, and socioeconomic status interact to shape identity and society’s perception of identity. Trelawny is light-skinned. As a result, he is perceived as multiracial by some, Black by others, and ambiguous by many. In Jamaica, his family would have been considered multiracial, but Delano explains to him that for most Americans, they are Black. Part of Trelawny’s interpersonal difficulties stem from his exclusion from all groups: he is “not Black enough” to hang out with the other Jamaican kids, but too Black for white and Hispanic students.