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47 pages 1 hour read

Laura Nowlin

If Only I Had Told Her

Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2024

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Symbols & Motifs

Autumn’s Candy

The candy that Finn gets for Autumn is a symbol of his unwavering devotion to her. Finn knows it is her favorite, so after they have sex for the first time, he goes to the only gas station in town that sells the candy: He knows how anxious Autumn is that he will remain with Sylvie, so he buys all the candy the store stocks as a sign of his commitment to Autumn. Notably, that gas station employs a cashier who leers at Autumn when she is not looking and attempts to engage Finn in inappropriate conversations about her. This gives Finn an additional way to prove his love for Autumn, as he confronts the cashier about his behavior.

Finn’s death prevents him from giving his present to Autumn, and the candy only resurfaces when Jack cleans out Finn’s car. Jack struggles through much of his portion of the novel with whether he should give the candy to Autumn. He initially withholds it because of his resentment toward Autumn, symbolically keeping Finn’s final gesture of love from her. It is only when he forgives Autumn that he gives her the candy that Finn wanted her to have.

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