Know My Name: A Memoir

Miller returns to Philadelphia, where she continues to live with her boyfriend Lucas. He encourages her to join him on a vacation to Indonesia over winter break. A year has almost passed since the assault: “[I]t seemed impossible that in this year I had only spent a single day testifying in court, while around that day my life had disintegrated” (126). In the aftermath of her breakthrough at the hearing, Miller struggles to find purpose and meaning in daily life. She finds comfort in her occasional Skype sessions with her friend Claire, a fellow survivor who has experienced the same emotional journey. Miller distracts herself with cooking, cleaning, and other menial tasks. She joins a comedy club with Lucas and, after one of her boyfriend’s teammates doubts her, dives into writing a routine.

Miller auditions and is chosen to perform last in the lineup. She is reinvigorated by this moment: “[F]or the first time in nine months, anxiety did not cause me to shrivel up and shut down. It fueled me to begin” (132). She rehearses with her club members and feels connected to those around her, including the custodian in her apartment building, the Korean shop owner in her neighborhood, and the doorwomen who work at the front desk.