The Four Loves

Eros is the state of “being in love.” (91). Sexuality is only an ingredient of Eros, not the love itself.Lewis refers to the carnal element of Eros as “Venus” (92). Lewis takes care to make the distinction that sexuality can be present without Eros. Any two bodies can participate in the physical act of sex. They need not be in love, engage in Friendship or Affection, or even see or think of each other again. They need only their bodies. But this is not to say that Lewis views sexual activity in the absence of Eros as something degraded. In Christianity, sex is typically discussed as being the province of marriage, but Lewis’s discussion of Eros does not consider the morals of sexuality within or without the bounds of marriage or committed relationships. He examines sex in terms of its relationship to God and man, as with the other loves.

Lewis begins by describing the early stages of Eros, or falling in love: “Very often what comes first is simply a delighted preoccupation with the Beloved [...] A man in this state really hasn’t leisure to think of sex” (93). Desire in the early stages of Eros is not necessarily sexual and may not involve lust at all.