The Four Loves

The Four Loves, written by C.S. Lewis and originally published in 1960, presents the author’s philosophical and theological differentiation of four types of love: Friendship, Affection, Eros, and Charity. Affection, Friendship, and Eros are classified as “natural” (116) loves, while Charity receives a higher distinction in that it is closest to the type of love that is defined by the maxim “God is love” (1), the premise that underlies all of his arguments. Charity is discussed as a “supernatural” (140) love, as opposed to “unnatural”(40). Lewis examines each of the four loves in-depth, including their benefits, potential dangers, and how they each illuminate distinct aspects of God’s character.

The Four Loves is derived from a 1958 series of radio broadcasts by Lewis. The talks received widespread criticism in conservative circles for what was, at the time, a frank discussion of sex and its implications.

Before beginning the discussion of the “loves” themselves, Lewis defines his terms and makes some distinctions between what are typically called “likes” versus “loves.” Clarity of language is paramount in The Four Loves, and the first categories are “Need-loves,” “Gift-loves,” and loves of “appreciation” (2). A Need-love is compared to an infant needing its mother. It loves her because it needs her, and the need depends on the love. However, Need-loves are exhausted once the need has been satisfied. A Gift-love is independent and free of the expectation of reciprocity. It is manifested in a gift that is freely given, with no expectation of return. “Appreciative” love is a function of the lover’s admiration for a feeling of aesthetic or physical qualities. For instance, a breeze can be appreciated on a hot day, but the breeze itself has no inherent good in it.

After clarifying his semantic position, Lewis begins by examining the love known as Affection, or storge (31) in the original Greek. Affection is described by Lewis as being rooted in warmth and familiarity. It does not require attraction or mutual points of view. Affection is what is felt for pets, by pet owners, and for acquaintances for whom one has some fondness. But the fondness tends to have routine and safeness as its foundation, not anything implying a more intimate bond. Affection, in Lewis’s view, can lead to an appreciation for people, or things, that might not flourish without its presence. One of the potential downsides of Affection involves relationships between family members. People who become too familiar with one another may begin to take each other for granted, resulting in rudeness, neglect, and resentment.

The next chapter examines the nature of Friendship. Friendship is unique in The Four Loves in that it appears to be the most unnecessary and also the least like the love of God. In modern times, Lewis believes that the role of Friendship has grown so small as to make the love almost trivial. The Greeks, however, saw Friendship as essential, and his sympathies lie with their thinking. Lewis identifies the primary potential downside of Friendship as its exclusionary nature. Friendship includes the friends and places non-friends outside of their circle by definition.

In Chapter 4, Lewis defines Eros as the state of “being in love” (91). Eros can include sex, but sex does not necessarily include Eros in all cases. He refers to the carnal element of lust as Venus. When Venus is unrestrained, a person can be reduced to pure appetite. The lustful person in the grips of Venus can only think of satisfying a physical pleasure. But when Eros is introduced, the physical act is a secondary focus and pleasure. “The Beloved” (93) then becomes the focus, shifting appetites to a peripheral role and allowing sex to lead to greater intimacy, rather than mere physical relief. Romantic love overlays the relationship of God and Christ to man because the Bible frequently compares Christ to a ”Bridegroom of the Church” (78)—and its members—as his wife.

The final chapter discusses Charity, which is the ultimate distillation of God’s love manifested in the world. God’s Charity is what caused him to create the world upon which his children could grow, learn, flourish, and perfect themselves. His creations practice charity by demonstrating God’s love through their relationships and actions towards each other. Lewis states, multiple times, that Charity is the culmination of the other loves. It is the highest order state that a person can experience on Earth and the closest to God that a person can be prior to ascending to Heaven.

The Four Loves can be read as a philosophical treatise on the nature of love, as a Christian meditation on God and His plan for his children, as a practical guide to living a better, more charitable life, or as a pure intellectual exercise as Lewis follows his reasoning as far as he is able. It contains much of value for people of faith and non-believers alike.