The Fourth Stall

“I sat calmly and waited for the next client, not even suspecting for a second that he would be the biggest problem that had ever stepped into my office.”

This line of interior monologue serves as a cliffhanger-style hook that caps the first chapter. After several pages of Mac’s first-person perspective, he explains the success of his business venture and the organization and control with which he, Vince, and Joe manage it. The text exudes a tone of confidence and ownership. This line, however, juxtaposes clearly against that tone and initiates the inciting incident and overall conflict of the story.

“I mean, sure, I’ve had my share of deadbeat customers who never came through on their end of the bargain, whether it be repaying a favor or making dull payment. But I’d never rectify it by sending out some hoodlum to rough them up. That just wasn’t good business.”

Mac explains that he and Staples have drastically different approaches to dealing with customers who cannot pay up. The lines directly establish Mac and Staples as dramatic foils, or characters so opposite in actions and decision-making that they highlight each other’s traits. The lines also indirectly characterize Mac as an astute sixth grader capable of self-analysis and detailed observations.

“But that’s only supposed to be for real emergencies, like if I need an ice cream really bad and I don’t have any spare change.”

After Mac suggests using their Emergency Fund to employ more protection for Fred, Vince speaks up. Indirectly, this line shows Vince’s quirky sense of humor and ability to disagree while redirecting with humor. He follows up by suggesting Fred “hang out” in the bathroom for a few days at lunch and recess to limit spending.