Ubu Roi

Mama Turd enters the cavern as Papa Turd sleeps, unaware that he is there. In a speech, she narrates her long trip crossing “the whole of Poland in four days” (63). After leaving the palace followed by Buggerlaus and his supporters, she swam across a river and continued being chased until finally making it to the cavern. She wonders what’s happened to Papa Turd and reveals that all the treasure she stole is still back in Warsaw when Papa Turd begins to wake up and Mama Turd realizes he’s there. Taking advantage of the darkness, Mama Turd pretends to be the Archangel Gabriel to “make [Papa Turd] promise to pardon [their] pilferings” (64). Mama Turd asks Papa Turd about herself and Papa Turd responds she is the “vilest of shrews” (65); the two continue to argue about Mama Turd’s virtues, or lack thereof, and after Papa Turd admits that he killed Wenceslaus, his sons, and Bordure, Mama Turd says the only way for “all [Papa Turd’s] sins to be forgiven” is to “forgive Mama Turd for having pilfered a little gold” (66).  

Papa Turd realizes that the voice belongs to Mama Turd and throws the bear on her. The two catch up on their misfortunes while they were separated, admitting they “don’t give a damn” about others’ deaths; Papa Turd adds that Mama Turd is “going to undergo capital punishment” for stealing his treasures (68).